We can learn a lot about children by watching their behavior patterns and understanding their personal preferences. For example, maybe you’ve noticed that your child enjoys making noise, sharing their feelings and ideas, and playing with other children. If that’s true, it’s highly likely that your child is an extrovert. On the other hand, maybe you’ve noticed that your child spends time watching other children play rather than playing with them. Or, maybe you’ve noticed that your child enjoys spending time alone reading books, listening to music or coloring more than running around with their siblings. If you have noticed any of these behaviors it’s likely that your child is an introvert.
Research shows that introverts make up about one-third of the population, which means it’s actually a fairly common personality type. Introverted children are often more hesitant, cautious and reserved. They are great listeners and they closely observe their surroundings to form their own opinions and create new ideas. It’s important to remember that introverts demonstrate mentally and emotionally healthy behaviors and that they deserve to be treated with respect and understanding.
Both introverted and extroverted children are challenged with the task of working together at home and in school. Extroverted children are usually comfortable talking and sharing their ideas and they often volunteer to serve as the team leaders. Introverted children, however, sometimes find working with others a more challenging and overwhelming experience. They often spend the most time listening to others and refrain from sharing their ideas. However, working well with others in a team setting is a critical life skill that both extroverted and introverted children need in order to grow and succeed.
Here are five different ways that parents can encourage their introverted child to enjoy teamwork:
Talk About Teamwork
Introverts tend to be great listeners. Talking to introverted children about the importance of teamwork can be an effective way for parents to help their children successfully work well with others. Consider spending some time discussing the meaning of teamwork and why it’s important. Introverted children can have a tendency to be very analytical and will likely understand that teamwork increases productivity. Parents can even give examples of when children and adults are tasked with working on teams like at work, school or right at home. While talking about teamwork with an introverted child, consider asking them how they feel about teamwork. Do they like working with others? Have they ever been part of a team and what was their experience like? Talking through their experiences, as well as any possible challenges and resolutions, often helps ease any tension or anxiety that an introverted child may feel about participating in an activity that requires teamwork.
Encourage Self-Expression
Introverted children tend to keep their emotions and thoughts bottled up inside their heads. It’s important to help introverts share their feelings, ideas, and opinions through self-reflection. Talking is a common form of self-expression, but it may not be the best solution for your introverted child. Consider giving your child other tools to share what’s on their mind like drawing, painting, acting, music, or even playing with toys. Indirect forms of self-expression tend to offer introverted children a comfortable, enjoyable sharing experience. Encouraging introverted children to explore self-expression can help them improve communication when working on a team with others.
Celebrate Critical Thinking
Introverts are typically very analytical. They listen well to others, analyze their surroundings, form their own opinions, and are usually not easily led by others. Introverted children tend to process everything in regard to their surroundings and notice the details in their environment. When it comes to making decisions, they usually make well thought out decisions. Critical thinking is an important life skill that often comes naturally to introverted children and is incredibly valuable in a team setting. It’s important for parents to celebrate this quality and help their introverted child understand the important role they play on a team. When part of a team, introverts can often provide detailed solutions to challenges or obstacles. Their natural sense of cautiousness can be used to calculate risk and help their team avoid further setbacks or consequences. It’s important for introverted children to know that their innate ability to think critically is highly valuable and truly needed in a team setting. Introverted children who understand the value of their reserved personality type are often more likely to feel comfortable working with others to accomplish a common goal.
Encourage Strategic Communication
Being part of a team can be overwhelming for an introverted child because teamwork often comes with loud conversations, unorganized planning and the chaos of several battling opinions. Usually, when faced with being part of a team, introverts choose to stay quiet and to themselves, which can be misinterpreted by the extroverts around them. Parents can help their introverted children adjust to team settings by encouraging strategic communication. For example, when part of a team, an introverted child can listen to others, think to themselves, and once they have spent time forming their own opinion they can share it with the group by talking, writing or drawing out the solution. This strategy allows introverts to share their thoughts without trying to constantly compete with other loud voices. Another option could be encouraging your introverted child to speak with their team members individually before or after a team meeting. This allows the introvert to share their thoughts with their teammates without feeling overwhelmed during the group meeting. It’s important that parents share these types of strategies with their children to help them enjoy being part of a team.
Allow Alone Time
Usually, introverted children enjoy spending time alone. Watching their children spend time by themselves may concern some parents, but it’s actually a healthy part of their personality type. We encourage parents with introverted children to allow them to have some alone time. While alone, introverts often think through any challenges they may have experienced and develop a solution. Or, sometimes they spend time alone dreaming of exciting new ideas and inventions. Spending time alone helps introverted children self-reflect and establish mental and emotional wellness. Time spent alone can also help introverts prepare for social engagements, which can help them feel less anxious and overwhelmed in a team setting. Offering introverted children some alone time is truly beneficial to their growth, development, and social and emotional learning.
Being part of a team doesn’t have to be an overwhelming experience for introverted children. When given the right tools and coping strategies, introverts can learn how to thrive in a team setting. It’s important that parents take the time to observe their child’s behavior patterns, understand their introverted personality type, celebrate the benefits of being an introvert and help them learn how to successfully work well with others.
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